Wednesday, January 30, 2013

an angel torn part 9


                It was a long and lonely year for Il’Icais in that cell.  (Solange had moved on to paradise and the memory of the Angel that sacrificed his wings for her, was gone) But at last he has been freed from his chains and his new look and attitude was exactly what Luke wanted.

                Icais arrived with Sorlozon before their leader and instantly they both went to their knees in reverence.  No force needed now.

                -“Hmmm…” Luke looked at him satisfied with what he was seeing.  Sorlozon got up and Icais stayed in his position.

                -“Rise, my son” Luke said after a couple of minutes and looked at Sorlozon as if to celebrate the victory. -“Leave us, Sorlozon” he ordered.

                While Sorlozon left, Icais rose to show his transformation to his new master: new wings, new eyes new scar and no longer an angel…

                While he stood there, before his new master, he made memory of the long year that was now behind him. The first couple of months we excruciatingly long. At first he thought he wouldn’t make it. Thinking of his beloved and having to live with the fact that she no longer had remembrance of him. Emptiness had fallen upon him when he looked around and only saw her face in the back of his mind. Reminiscing about the times he shared with her and moments he felt that he had failed, anger and guilt filled his heart. (Both feelings he had never experienced before).

                After 2 months and a half, a sharp, burning pain fell upon his back.  The agony that he felt as he saw his wings wither slowly was insufferable. As he looked into the solitary reflection that stared back at him, coming from the only mirror on the wall that seemed to be made of hot coals struggling to burn, he only wished he could soar in flight out of that horrendous hellhole. His wings were completely gone by the 3rd month and where there once were two majestic pearl-colored wings, were two horrifying bulges. Just as he was beginning to get used to his new look he noticed something growing from the two lumps. The days passed and as his new bat-like wings, that resembled the appearance of the wall he faced every day and night, began to mature, he thought of the first wings that were once in their place and the responsibility that laid upon him once they were to their full capability; the honor of having a human to watch upon. The memory of her only brought misery to his now insignificant existence.

                On the 13th night of that fifth month, he dreamed! He saw her face and experienced for the last time the pure desire of having her with him.  No lust involved, just pure, unadulterated love. He had her in his arms and felt her skin. He brushed every inch of her body with his lips but there was no guilt involved and the changes he experienced and once feared were now welcomed. He allowed himself to love her, knowing deep inside his now hardened heart that it would be the last time.  He trembled at every touch that came from her gentle hands and the sensuality of it all was indescribable. Every sigh that came from her as he gently stroked increased the urge to take it to the next level. Before he knew it he was over her and inside her at the same time. The elating sensation of knowing every one of her desires and being able to satisfy them all to the last little detail, was as close to heaven as he could get from where he was now. In every thrust was a longing to satiate all of the rejections he had made her experience. With every moan that came from her, he only prodded deeper and harder until in her peak of pleasure, she held him close and with her grasp he felt a torrent of passion running through him. As his name was being said and he heard his beloved make her wanting of more pleasure known, he wouldn’t stop. And the pure, unadulterated love was transforming into an unending lust for passion.  When that was done, he awoke, to find himself clawing at the floor that was supposed to glisten with the puddles of blood. He looked at the wall and it was also as pitch black as the floor was and there was no mirror. He put his hands in front of his face and that’s when he realized he was blind.

                In present time, Icais was still before Luke hearing everything but listening to nothing. Memoirs of his almost eternal year in the pit, was what was found running through is most profound thoughts.  He closed his now crimson eyes and remembered when he saw them for the first time.

                On the 7th month of his imprisonment, he awoke to find that his vision had been returned to him and he couldn’t believe what he was seeing. His wings were almost twice the size of his last ones and his opinion towards them had changed completely. What he, on one occasion, thought of as horrifying, he now considered it to be grandiose and he was proud of what he was seeing. He glared upon himself and for the first time in many months, felt that he was himself, just darker. He found himself feeling complete in almost every way until he looked at his chest. His name was still incrusted on it. “Il’Icais” it read. Rage ran through every inch of his being, and with it, his fist hit the mirror with a force that shattered the glass into small bits. His hands were bleeding and her name came to his mind once again.
               
                The last time he saw her was now the image running through his mind but instead of fear of losing her, he felt hate! He hated how she had forgotten her after he had sacrificed so much for her. He hated how she always seemed to be able to manipulate him into doing what she wanted. He hated having been her slave! With every bit of hate, his heart became hard and cold and this part of the transformation was the one he would rather forget…

                -“…now you are my son” is what he heard once he brought his memories to where they should have been from the beginning.
               
                -“Yes, Sire.” Icais replied. With that said, he fell upon his knees with throbbing pain running through his chest. He was turned on his back and he saw to his horror and satisfaction the inscription across his chest turning into a horrid scar. The pain caused him to black out and his first mission was given to him in vision. He saw a small boy, angry at his stepfather for hurting his mother to the point of leaving her at the hospital. He saw himself possess the body of the boy and kill the man responsible…

                After several hours on the floor, he opened his eyes and gasped for air. Once he had his strength back, he stood and saw himself, now feeling complete in every way possible.

                -“you know what to do.” Luke told him. He nodded and stared at his reflection… he knew exactly what he had to do.


   Love always,
      Your lonely Angel

"h"


I shall write of a memory
And I’ll sing a song of love
Even though my past is so obscure
I will raise my eyes and look above

Into the sky I shall fly
And with my wings I’ll soar
I’ll reach the stars and
Go through every open door

No one will stop me
My happiness I’ll find
I’m only looking forward
All sadness is left behind

No matter where you are
No matter what you do
My love and my darling
Know that I will find you.



an unborn life


The memory of how i lost you
Torments my every thought
The death that came upon you
You cant imagine the pain it brought

That burning pain consumed me
While your life was being drained
The blood that covered your body
It was mine, were mine.

His anger is what hurt you
My distress is what finished it off
I’m sorry for not knowing
If I had, I wouldn’t have fought

In you was my love
Even when I wasn’t sure
Even though I when I didn’t know
The pain of knowing has no cure

Loosing you has taught me well
And gives me strength to fight
You had no name, you had no chance
You’re what I call an unborn life