-“It’s not enough.” She said to her
angel one night.
-“What isn’t enough? What are you
talking about?” answered her angel, fearing he reply.
-“Dreaming; dreaming isn’t enough
for me anymore. I wish to be with you in the heavens. I desire to know that
wonderful place that you speak of every night; the paradise that you have
painted in my head. Don’t you want me there with you? Don’t you wish to see me
there?”
-“Solange, I want you in heaven, not
with me but, with the Almighty. Our father in heaven wishes you to dwell in
paradise with him along with all of your brothers and sisters. Every human soul
on earth, heaven and hell is considered a sibling. I only love you as a sister.
I don’t want you to be mine; I want you to belong to yourself and to our
creator.”
For the first time, the angel found
himself lying to her, for her own wellbeing of course. The pain that was
growing inside his chest began to feel unbearable. When he saw the face of the
woman gazing on him with tears developing in her eyes, he couldn’t help but
take a deep breath and hold back his own tears.
-“No! You’re lying to me! I can see
it in your eyes. You’re not like the other angels. You do love; you love me!”-
She yelled hysterically at him, pulling on his cloak. “Angels can’t lie. Why
are you lying to me? Tell me the truth!”
With those last words, she awoke.
Her angel had left early, and she was left with tears in her eyes and the
bedspread tight in her hands. It was, still, only 3 o’clock on the morning, but
she didn’t wish to speak to her angel. She felt deceived and heartbroken to the
words of the angel.
-“A sister! You see me as a fucking
sister!!”- She yelled towards the heavens. “Angels can’t lie! Angels can’t…”
She began to feel a pressure build up inside of her head. Voices were
repeatedly whispering in her head: “Call him! Call him with your blood.” All at
once, they were getting louder and louder. She covered her ears to try and
muffle out the sound, nothing worked.
-“Stop!” she begged. “Get out of my
head please! Angel! Angel… Help me! Please, help me!” she called out.
The voices only got louder with every cry that
came out of her mouth, but the angel did not come. He was too ashamed to face
her after what he had done. He felt angry with himself and with her for not
understanding. He could barely even hear her voice call out to him.
Solange didn’t sleep for the rest of the night.
The sun rose, and with the light entering the room, the voices began to vanish.
She felt relieved that the noises had ceased. With the passing of the hours,
she only sat in her bed and all she could remember were the words of the angel
and how his eyes were the window that gave light to the perjury behind them.
For now, she didn’t want to come in contact with the angel, or with the
constant voices that suffocated her every night, since that dark hour in which
he had decided to leave and ignore her.
It had been weeks since the angel’s last visit,
and Solange was beginning to miss her dearly beloved. With time, she understood
a little more the reason behind the angel’s words. She remembered how one night
the angel had told her about the moment in which they gave him the job and how
he felt. He had explained the rules to her also. With that in mind, she was
aware that everything he had said was just for her own good.
In the meantime, her angel was in the heavens
missing her dearly. Never keeping his eyes or his thoughts off of her for one
second, hoping that she would call upon him once again. He had decided to be
straight forward with her and tell her the truth about his feelings and what he
wanted.
A starry blanket filled the night sky as the moon
rose. Solange was already in bed, feeling lonely and nostalgic. With only a
look to the heavens, her angel got the message. She instantly fell asleep and
he entered her mind to visit. At first ambiance felt heavy and uncomfortable.
But once the woman opened her mouth to apologize for the occurrences, the angel
interrupted.
-“I Love You.” He exclaimed without warning.
The woman felt shock to hear those words, but she
seemed comforted at the same time.
-“I lied because I can’t give up my wings. I fear
the thought of death. You were right about me though. I’m not like other
angels. But I’m not the only angel that feels this way towards the soul that
I’m guarding. There are others like me, but we’re a minority. I can’t risk
loosing my wings and not being able to look after you. I do love you, with all
of my, well, we don’t have physical hearts but I’m guessing you know where I’m
going with this. You’re not just a sister to me, or a simple soul that I look after.
Every time I look at you I feel content. I can’t stop myself from thinking
about you every second that I leave your side; and when I say seconds I mean
seconds in heaven. So it’s a long time. I can’t help but wonder what it would
be like to come down to earth one day and physically hold you in my arms and
under my wings. That time that you almost died, I thought I was going to perish
if I didn’t save you. You are the reason for my existence, you were made for me
to look after you and I was created to guard you with everything that I have;
everything that I am. If I ever loose you, I loose myself. But if I get close
to you in a way that is inadequate, I risk loosing you as well; therefore I
can’t be with you the way that you want me to, or the way that I desire…”
In that moment, there was silence. She glared
into his eyes, and he was taken once again by her beautiful eyes.
-“I know…” Was all that she could reply at the
moment.
The silence between them said everything that
needed to be heard. Every truth, every feeling, every single thought was being
revealed in just minutes of stillness. He reached out to grab her and she went
directly into his arms to be held by him again.
She would give herself to him that night, she thought to herself. She
will show her love and she will make it possible for them to be together,
whether it was in this life or the next.
-“I love you.” Said the angel, once again.
-“I love you too” replied Solange.
-“I promise that the moment will come in which we
will be together…”
-“No,” interrupted the woman. “I promise you that we will be together”
Love Always,
Your Lonely Angel
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